I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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