Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
