Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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