If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Dicks are not precious.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
