got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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