Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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