He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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