do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
