So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
