You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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