What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
