i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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