If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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