is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
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