i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
