I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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