If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm at about main and main street
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
