i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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