Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
