i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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