Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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