Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
