Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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