I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
