She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
