woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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