Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
