If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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