Im at strip club and am horny
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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