susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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