BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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