Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize