the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
