So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
