She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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