I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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