plz talk dirty to me
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
