If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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