PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
How many fucks given?
0.12846
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
