this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
