i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
