we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
