saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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