Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I cockslap morals
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
