we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
