My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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