The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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