will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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