why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
