My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
