I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
