I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize