Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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