you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
