Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
