yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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