You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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