someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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