Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
ugly people sure do ruin things
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
