So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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