bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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