Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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