Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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